This weekend my timeline has been full of kids making the move to college, and it’s bittersweet for me as I’ve seen many of them grow up before my eyes. I might lose some friends over this post (or at least spark some lively discussion), but I’m going to post anyway.
I don’t have children, nor have I ever had a strong desire to have them, but I do admit that I have definite opinions about how today’s children are being raised. I work on a college campus and while I’m on the alumni side of things and don’t often interact with students until they graduate, I’d like to pass on some things to you as you drop off your children for their next chapter. (I’m referring to them as children because they’re not yet grown, even though they are 18+.)
Let them make their own mistakes. A friend said that she wanted to make a situation easier for her daughter because no one did it for her when she was her age. I asked her why she felt she needed to do that. I reminded my friend that she turned out okay by going through that particular situation. You made it, too.
Don’t call your child’s professor if they have a bad grade. Did your mom or dad call your college math professor? If your answer is “Yes,” that’s not the answer I expected. If your child tells you they are not doing well, you might suggest that they ask the professor if they can do an extra assignment, but leave it there. They’ll have to figure out how to manage.
Equip your children with soft skills. A former employee didn’t know what a cashier’s check was, nor did they know where to get one. That, as well as how to generally navigate through life without you having to hold their hands are essential tools to pass onto them. You will want them to learn how to pay bills, too, unless you want to have perpetual children for life.
I’ll admit that if I had children, I might want to go the extra mile for them, but I remember that there were things that I had to learn for myself. Growing up, my mom was not my friend. She would sometimes make sure I didn’t oversleep, but after that it was up to me. If we continuously do everything for our children, how will they know how to function? I hope they know how much money you have spent to decorate their rooms and to make sure they are appropriately dressed, because from what I’ve seen that alone is a small fortune.
Mane! I know that parenting is hard, but if you had to learn hard lessons, don’t you think your kids do, too? Rejection, disappointment, loss, happiness, joy, and all the emotions are what we all need to experience to be productive citizens. Don’t rob them of those memories.
If you want to fight me, or reply with a sternly worded post, so be it. I can take it.
ksmithsays 