Years ago when I was working in the library in college, one of my coworkers said to me, “You’re pretty for a Black girl.” I was taken aback. I don’t remember my response, but I took his statement to mean that I was pretty “even though” I’m Black. Over the years I’ve heard people say that about all races. “He’s cute to be a White guy,” or “She is a beautiful Asian woman,” are just a few examples.
As far as women are concerned, have there been different standards of beauty for different races? Is it possible that certain aspects that make a Black woman unique have been widely accepted by all? For years, no one wanted a full backside or full lips. Now plastic surgeons have built their lifeblood on creating this look.
I love the reality show Botched about plastic surgeries gone wrong because for the most part, there are people who really need procedures because of a disfigurement or because they didn’t go to the right doctor. I also love Dr. Pimple Popper for that very reason but I’ll admit that I’m a “popoholic” and love to watch all the gooey stuff come out, but let me get to the point.
What about the people who are already nice looking but still find things wrong with either their faces or their bodies? If Michael Jackson felt comfortable looking like he did on the Off the Wall album, he most likely would still be with us. I get that he had vitiligo, but it’s horrible that he was literally uncomfortable in his own skin.
I have learned in my life to never say never, but I have seen some folks go too far when undergoing plastic surgery. Before you get bent out of shape, I’m not saying plastic surgery is wrong: I want my family and friends to do what makes them happy. I was surprised to see Tori Spelling emerging looking a LOT like Khloe Kardashian (who also looks a LOT different now). What’s that about? I understand the need to change it up a bit, but changing your face to look exactly like someone else? In both of their cases, they didn’t always have full lips and round backsides. In the same vein, it’s hard to look at Lil’ Kim now; she has morphed into someone unrecognizable to me. She was downright adorable when she first entered the music scene.
As women, we place so much pressure on ourselves to fit in a certain box. The standard of beauty has indeed changed over the years. Slender backsides used to be the thing, but now we have everybody and their mommas literally getting butt injections. We can’t get away from it: from commercials to movies, to just being outside, you wonder who has set this standard that a lot of us are trying to achieve.
Being a woman is hard: what do we do when our main squeeze leaves us for someone younger or we lose a job because of our age? How do we respond?
As for me, there’s no point in trying to keep up with a woman that is much younger than me. We are two different people with different perspectives and experiences. Growing older should be thought of as a positive thing rather than something we must fight. The takeaway is that we should aim to be our best; not for others but for ourselves.
I started this off on one topic but ended on another so thanks for sticking with me through this. The takeaway is that it’s important to feel comfortable in your own skin for YOU and no one else. There’s a lot more to be said about this, possibly in future entries.
#ksmithsays
Photo by Deon Black on Unsplash
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