I can count on one hand the times that I have hosted my family on a holiday. Mainly because I don’t enjoy cooking holiday food (or much more than breakfast food if I’m totally honest). It’s also because once when I hosted, I felt tension in my home amongst a few of my guests, and I decided after that it wasn’t worth the effort. Growing up, my mother wanted all of us to gather under one roof for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and the times that it happened seemed awkward to me. It was as if some came and hated being there. The family dynamic was off. My dad wasn’t much of a conversationalist which didn’t help matters, and I don’t think we had much to talk about as a family unit. After the “what did you get for Christmas?” small talk, there wasn’t much left.
In the last few years, G and I started hosting a game night over the holidays. It’s not huge; just a few family and friends. It’s always a fun time. When I was growing up, playing games was something that we didn’t do. My siblings played Spades with their friends, but it wasn’t a family affair. Looking back, we didn’t do much as a family in general. As a result, it has taken me a long time to truly let my hair down around my siblings, primarily because I allowed myself to suffer from “Little Sister Syndrome,” a term I attribute to feeling like I didn’t have a voice. While I think my oldest brother still thinks I’m in the fourth grade, I believe he sees me as an adult now. I think.
For the first time, a family member attended game night this year, and they told me that they were on a different path and wanted to reconnect. I was glad to hear that, and I hope to see them again as we aren’t getting any younger. I think sometimes we let others cloud our judgment without taking the time to find out for ourselves. I know that I can be an acquired taste for some and that’s okay.
One thing though, I’m never going to surround myself with people in my home that don’t want to be there. I enjoyed the holiday season spending quality time with family and friends. I hope that if you hosted friends and family over the holiday break that it was a positive experience. These days shouldn’t be stressful; they should be uplifting. I look forward to more “happy” days in 2022.
#ksmithsays #HappyNewYear2022
ksmithsays 