Disclaimer: I am not a relationship expert, nor do I claim to be an expert of any kind. I’m a person who has opinions and doesn’t mind sharing.
A few days ago a friend told me that they liked someone. I was happy for him because no one deserves to be in a healthy relationship more than he. Then came the bombshell: the lady is married.
I listened as he recounted that she is on the road to divorce and that her husband doesn’t respect her and she felt like she deserved to be happy after so long. Totally get that. My friend also said that he wasn’t going to be that person that dated someone who is still married, and told the lady that he wouldn’t entertain going any further until she was no longer married. Yet, I’m just now hearing about this and it seems that they are both smitten.
He was expecting me to fuss because others did. I didn’t.
While I didn’t fuss, I told him that there’s not much of a future with someone who is with someone else. I’m not a hopeless romantic, but I will admit to cheering for Olivia and Fitz even though I knew he was married to Mellie, but that was on Scandal and no “real” people were harmed by their relationship. But what happens when “real” people enter the mix? If monogamy doesn’t matter, then so be it I guess? In this instance, I know it matters to my friend.
He deserves to be loved. Truth be told, I’ve wanted him to be in a loving relationship for some time now, but I’m not one of those people who pries and asks, “So who are you dating now?” For him to share that he likes someone at this time is monumental.
I want him to be in a relationship where he is cherished.
I want him to be able to snuggle with his lady in a restaurant and not have to look over his shoulder, or pretend not to see someone he knows.
I want him to be with someone and not be worried if someone else’s world would be shattered if he is seen with her.
I want him to be the first person the woman thinks about on Valentine’s Day and not have to wait until February 15 to spend quality time with her.
I want him to wake up on Christmas morning with her and open the gift that she bought especially for him, rather than have to celebrate it early or late.
I know: you can’t help who you are attracted to, and far be it from me to tell anyone what to do. I also know that things are complicated.
To be honest, I don’t want my friend to be complacent with being what is called a “side piece.” Yeah. I said it. While some men and women claim that it’s no big deal, isn’t it? Is anyone really happy knowing that they must share the person they like/love with someone else?
#ksmithsays
ksmithsays 