Like many of you, I watched Dahmer on Netflix. In 1991 when these gruesome crimes were discovered, I remember hearing about it, but I didn’t spend a lot of time learning much about him. At that time I was a high school graduate and was preparing to start my freshman year of college. Now that I have finished it, I have several thoughts. I know that the writers took artistic license, but these are a few of my observations.
- We make judgments about people based on how they look. To look at him, Jeffrey Dahmer appeared to be a straight laced guy with his glasses and almost nerdy looking haircut. The judge told him that he reminded him of his grandson who made a mistake but had cleaned up his act and was gainfully employed. He said that he didn’t seem like someone who needed to go to prison, so he allowed him to work while he was incarcerated. I’m wondering if he looked different than the judge would he be given the same consideration?
- When it comes to those we love, sometimes we see what we want to see. There were several instances when his family explained away his behavior. I’m pretty sure that I have done the same for those who are special to me.
- A man who got away from Dahmer went to the police to report that he was drugging people at the bath houses in Milwaukee, but they didn’t believe him. When the detective told him that he didn’t find anything after questioning Dahmer, the guy who got away said, “So you’re going to believe a white guy with a criminal record over a black guy who doesn’t have one?” I can say more about that but I’m going to stop there.
- The absence of love in one’s formative years (or during any time really) can often lead to disaster. According to the series his parents split when he was young. It didn’t appear that he spent much time with his mother, and his father didn’t fill that void. If we demonstrated love to one another, our world would be a much better place.
- I’m not sure if the storyline of Anthony Hughes, one of his victims, was true, but if so, it made me sad. The audience got to see the makings of a friendship between the two of them, but Jeff couldn’t allow himself to trust that Anthony would love him. To piggyback on the previous point, if you don’t see love shown to you, you may not know how to love and be loved.
- Thirty years ago it was lost on me that the majority of his victims were men of color. I have watched a bit of another documentary about him and he didn’t profile by color; he was attracted to a man’s build.
- As a woman with a husband, I take it for granted that I can publicly show my affection for G without ridicule from others. To be a member of the LGBTQ+ community in the late 80s and early 90s in the midst of the AIDS epidemic had to have been tough to say the least. If you were a Black man in that community it had to have been doubly difficult.
- I was astounded to learn that when Dahmer went to prison, he developed a following. I’m amazed that people would be drawn to a man who did all the things that he did, but aren’t we still captivated by those who seem unworthy?
- I was surprised by the judge’s refusal to allow Jeff’s brain to be studied. I guess in his view we should have just accepted how he was, but what if scientists found that he was missing something vital? Oh well. A missed opportunity in my view but I understand that there’s much that I don’t understand about that situation.
- Will we ever have an honest conversation about mental health? There is no shame in seeking help. I have, and I’m so glad I did, and if I need to again, I’m thankful to not be embarrassed to admit it.
My heart goes out to the victims of Jeffrey Dahmer because I don’t think their stories will ever be told. According to the documentary, there was never a memorial built to celebrate their lives or to educate. May their families somehow find peace with how their loved ones left this earth.
#ksmithsays
ksmithsays 