This pic was from G’s 40th birthday 12 years ago in Vegas. This dress is still hanging up in my closet. I can still wear it but it fits a bit differently because there’s a bit more of me to love nowadays. While I have given away several items over the years, I’m still hanging onto it because it’s silk and I paid a pretty penny for it at one of my favorite boutiques. Do I think that at some point I will wear this again in public? I don’t think I will. While it still fits and many women my age wouldn’t think twice about wearing something like this, at this point in my life this isn’t the look for me anymore.
I’ve decided that I’m going to leave some outfits to the youngins. Before you take offense, I’m not saying that older women should stay away from wearing something like this (well maybe I am). As a woman that is over 50, it’s okay that I have aged out of some styles. By no means am I saying I need to resort to moumous, but I don’t see myself wearing skin tight jeans when I’m 80, even if I could. The other day, I felt foolish because I was wearing a fitted tee with skinny jeans and some sneakers. While I felt confident in my choice, I still thought, “Am I too old for this?” I guess one should wear what they feel comfortable in, but at some point one’s age should factor into your clothing choices.
What’s most important though is my comfort with how I feel within. The woman in this photo was at the end of her 30s and had just found her voice and the ability to say no after almost three decades of feeling like she had to make excuses for why she couldn’t be all things to all people. She felt bad if she couldn’t be present at every professional and personal engagement and didn’t like being alone on Friday nights. Fast forward to today, I’m much more comfortable in my skin. I truly love you if you invite me somewhere on a Friday and I show up.
But back to this little black dress, or at least the idea of it. For me, clothes convey a message. For me, I don’t need to wear that LBD for me to feel confident. I want to continue in the next decade of my life without being afraid of showing signs of getting older.
I feel like we are still clinging to the fountain of youth. If you have children, I promise you that it’s okay if you look like their mother rather than their sister. Men, I’m talking to you, too. There’s nothing more hilarious to me than an older guy wearing jeans with bling-y back pockets.
No matter what you do, pretty please: wear the appropriate foundational garments and that’s half the battle. Go to a store and have someone to measure you for the correct bra size. Don’t wear a one-shoulder outfit if you don’t have a bra that’s going to hold up both sides.
But hey, y’all go ahead and wear what you wanna wear. I just hope that you feel good on the inside, too.
#ksmithsays
ksmithsays 