In Memory of Lou

My mother, Lou Hattie, would be 80 years old on October 21 had she lived. Around this time every year, I find myself thinking of her and the things she taught me. I have lots of pictures of her, but unfortunately iPhones weren’t around then so I don’t have any videos of her, but she lives on vividly in my mind. As I have grown older, all I have to do is look in the mirror and she’s there.

I’ve said this before, but I always knew that my mother was smart, but over the years, I’ve come to realize that she was downright brilliant.  I’m the youngest of six (my oldest sister died in a car accident at 6 months old and my oldest brother drowned when he was 14 and I was three) and while some babies of the family want to chart their own course and find their own way, I was one that observed and learned by watching. 

I learned to trust my mother’s instincts. She told us who was/wasn’t our friend or who we should not hang around, and 9/10 times she was right. We didn’t always listen to her, and some of us are still living with the ramifications of ignoring her alarms.

I wish that I had spent more time asking her about how it was for her growing up. She always told us that she wanted us to have an easier time than she, and that we needed to get an education so we didn’t have to work as hard as she did. I am 10, 8 and 6 years younger than my brothers and my sister, so for a long time, it was just me at home. I would imagine that she evolved as a parent and by the time I came along I definitely got the mellower side of her. My siblings would tell you that they got spanked a lot more than me, but remember me saying that I learned from them? 

During my K-12 years, she was very involved in my education, often telling my teachers that they could discipline me if they needed to, but after high school, it was left up to me to maneuver how I handled things at school. I shared with her my struggles, and she would offer her advice, but she never inserted herself.  I’ll imagine she spent a good deal of time praying for all of us, as I’ve learned that is all you can do in some situations. All of that time spent on her knees praying for me during that time was her involvement. 

I also learned from her how to manage. For several years, she endured complications from diabetes, which spawned other conditions such as congestive heart failure and renal failure, but yet she persisted.  Near the end of her life we spent our share of time in the hospital, and I’m pretty sure she was in a lot of pain, but as I said, yet she persisted. I would hope to be that brave. If you know me at all, you know that I strive to be my best fit self to avoid going down the same road as she had to travel. 

Mom left this earth 22 years ago. She wasn’t perfect. She wasn’t always nice. In fact she was downright stubborn. G will tell you that at certain times that I sound just like her, and it’s usually when I start to fuss.  I am my mother’s daughter. I’m thankful that she made the most of her time while on earth to impress upon us the importance of being the best we could be.  

I would love to hear things you have learned from your mother or any influential woman in your life. They taught us well and we would be wise to listen. 

#ksmithsays