The Gift of Sharing

A few months ago, I was in the midst of planning an event that turned out even better than I imagined, but it took a mental toll on me. You know who placed the most pressure on me? Me. “What if something goes wrong? It would be the worst thing ever,” so I thought. “What would people think? The horror!”

One day during one of our standing meetings, my boss asked me, “What is the priority right now?” to which I replied, “Everything.” In my mind, everything needed to be done. From this and that to everything in between, in my mind it was left up to me to do what needed to be done. Sensing my frustration he said, “You don’t have to prove anything to me,” to which I responded with tears. If you know me, that’s uncharacteristic because I’m not a crier, but in that moment it was cathartic. Pretty sure my boss, who is also a friend, wasn’t expecting that, but I’m glad it happened because it forced me to focus on the task before me.

While I’m not the best at asking for help (I’m trying to do better in that regard), I’ve learned over the years to share what’s going on in my life with my co-workers. In most instances when I have done this, they shared what’s going on with them and guess what? We all have things going on in our lives. It takes trust, but remember you don’t have to over share. It’s not necessary to share every little nook and cranny that exists in your head, but it’s important to let people know so that they will better understand. 

Years ago when I worked in pharma, I participated in a team-building exercise where we learned more about my teammates. One of my colleagues shared that her mother drove behind her as she ran, which explained why she was so competitive. She couldn’t help but be intense because that was how she was wired. Can you imagine if we took the time to learn about one another on a more personal level how much better we would be as a people? 

I have also worked with people who have held others at arm’s length. I get it. Some people keep their private lives private and that is their prerogative. Personally, I have always appreciated knowing so that I can encourage or support in whatever way is needed. I also fully know that there are some who will take personal information and use it against you. That’s an unfortunate situation. I shared something with someone once and I heard she told others.  Lesson learned.  Luckily that didn’t keep me from being open with others because I would have missed out on the joy of sharing not only the good, but the bad with others. 

That in itself is a gift, to be free to share how you feel without worrying about how you are perceived, or how you will be treated. I wouldn’t call this a New Year’s resolution; I’m going to continue to be as forthcoming as I can in an effort to be my best self.

#ksmithsays