Happy Mother’s Day…if it applies

You might know that I am also known as Dottie and DiDi’s Mommy, who are my two adorable miniature schnauzers who sometimes get dragged into my shenanigans. They are my babies.  Over the years I’ve been told that I should have had children for a variety of reasons, and while I know that they have meant well, it’s insensitive and annoying. 

In the early days of our marriage, Greg and I were asked constantly, “When are you going to start a family?” I don’t remember how I responded back then, but I’ve learned not to ask couples that question. You don’t know the struggles that women have faced because they may have wanted to give birth only to be told that they are unable to. The last thing she wants to hear from you is that she needs to get busy trying because she’s not getting any younger. Can you see how that might rub someone the wrong way? Recently I responded with “I can’t have them,” and that person immediately felt bad. I should have been saying that all along!

“You need to have a baby so you can have someone to love you unconditionally.” Really? How exactly does that work? I’m pretty sure that Dottie and DiDi love me unconditionally because they are dogs. No matter how you try, you can’t make a human being love you that way, even if you gave birth to them. I guess that’s something that one should strive to do as they raise a child, but in my opinion, that’s not a compelling reason to have a baby.

Today is an emotional day for many women because of the pressure that we place on them. I’ve learned to say “Happy Mother’s Day if it applies,” because there are many of us who are bonus moms, aunties, godmothers, cousins, you name it, and have indeed served in that role. 

Today is likely the first Mother’s Day without your mother for some of you. Rather than cry because my own mom is not physically here with me to celebrate her, I prefer to think of the life lessons she imparted to me that give me strength on days like this when my timelines are full of pic after pic of my friends with their precious moms. May you find comfort in the memories and remember fondly the lessons your mother taught you.

Don’t let people make you feel some type of way because you chose not to have babies of your own. They don’t know your story, and you don’t have to share it.

Happy Mother’s Day…if it applies!

#ksmithsays